2022 has been… a tumultuous year. Anchoring the mantra, “Ensure every decision you make will lead you closer to where you want to be,” has allowed me to give myself grace throughout the whole process self-development journey. Despite the downfalls, I’ve still managed to pick myself back up and move forward. Knowing those adversaries were no longer in my control, I can only reflect on the lessons I’ve learned from them. As I carried that knowledge forward, I sat with myself for a long time, thinking deeply:
- What is it that you really want?
- Is the work you’ve done something you want to continue pursuing?
- What’s holding you back to pursue the work you’ve been yearning for?
- What areas in your life are you lacking?
- What is it that you need to do or have in order to feel confident in showing up to the world?
- Why are you always seeking external validation or distractions to fill this “void” inside you?
These questions inevitably circulate from time to time as I gave superficial answers to myself, and now I think they’ve become more clear now that I’ve reached some stability with it.
After my layoff, I told some friends who supported me through their network which provided me the insight and confidence to take the leap of faith in believing in myself to finally pursue the career that scared me because I felt unqualified despite having an interest in which is, management consulting. I really want to say that this layoff is a silver lining for me. It’s allowed me to be more honest with myself and push me to meet people I wouldn’t have until later in my life because I was too comfortable where I was.
By investing in myself, I committed 2~ months to network, bootcamped my way spending100+ hours of prepping with interviews and 30+ cases to land where I am today as a confident young professional. As hard and scary it was, I have never been so proud of myself for this accomplishment since my fitness journey. I finally felt proud to show up to the world. Your job does not define who you are, but it’s a standard I set for myself. Tried and true, if you don’t try, you’ll never know.
This void in my life, pride in work, prevented me from feeling empowered in my everyday life. After this achievement was unlocked, I noticed the other parts of my life getting easier:
- Waking up and feeling empowered to make decisions and impact on a bigger scale
- Knowing what my skills are and where to focus in
- More control with hunger cues
- Stress levels balancing
- Body physique regulating
- Learning boundaries
- **Choosing me** – unemployment time helped me learn to enjoy me time without needing validation from other resources
It’s crazy to reflect back on this year and see how it has come full circle. I am beyond grateful to the friends I’ve surrounded myself with who have never stopped pushing me to get what I deserve. The look of relief on their faces proved to me how much they care about me and believe in me. It’s hard to believe in yourself when you grew up in an environment that always doubted you. As some say, turn those negatives into a positive.
‘Tis a season of gratitude and I’m so, so thankful for my beloved friends who have cheered me on through and through. Thank you all so much for always being there for me.
“When you are given the tools to come full circle, you can appreciate where you’ve come from, where you are, and what you have to do to stay there.”
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